I was nervous when I decided to offer this work. I knew it meant living on the edge of my own vulnerability- in my relationship with Sam, and my relationships in all of my life. If this is the work I want to share, then I better be ready for my own life to have the wattage increased. Yep. I’m ready. I can’t live any other way. I try sometimes. I do. Really. I try to back out, back up, go back to where it was ‘comfy.’ I try to snuggle back under my ribs in the little caves of safety where I ‘think’ I will be protected. My heart, that is. But the truth is, there is no “safe” from the outside world. Meaning that, life is happening all the time. Other people will let us down. They won’t be who we thought they were supposed to be. They will be untrue. They might steal, lie, cheat, leave, die. We will experience pain. More than once. It’s inevitable. But the walls we build trying to safeguard ourselves from future pain….that is the real suffering. Once I really saw this, I committed to a constant asking to have the courage to follow my heart. To really know the depths of the mystery within, and to follow it with fearlessness. I’m sure I’ve messed that up a bunch. But once I got it, it’s like a red flashing light comes on anytime I’m out of alignment with this Love within. Anytime I make the choice for fear over love, it hurts enough that I can’t ignore. When Jayanti and I separated and then divorced, it was because we both knew that our LOVE wanted to grow beyond our togetherness. And I don’t say that lightly, but it’s the truth. We did not know what that would look like at the time, but we knew we needed to go our own ways. And even though it was clear to both of us, it was not easy. It was not easy to unmake a life, a home, a family, a farm, a community, an image and a dream of the future. It was not easy to stay trusting all the way through when we had been like a warm blanket for one another. There were several moments when we could have turned back and said… ah what the heck we’ll stay together. But no. We couldn’t do that. And a huge reason why was because we had a circle of people who were quite Heart Intelligent that were able to hold us and our clarity and our truth, through the process. People that could hold the ‘vibe,’ if you will, of where we were headed while we were getting enough oomph to get there. So, why the hell am I sharing all this with you? Here’s why:
Several people said to me, “New England” really wasn’t ready for this sort of thing.
When Sam and I first moved to the east coast, several people said to me, “New England” really wasn’t ready for this sort of thing (Opening to Love/Heart Intelligence work). I know for sure that isn’t true because I’ve met many souls here in New England who can hold a candle in the dark without turning back. I’ve met many women wanting to explore their deep creative nature, and I’ve met people offering this “sort of thing” in a different package. I realize it’s a little different, a little more, perhaps, scary to show up in the daytime and sit circle with people that you will then be asked to interact with. But I can’t deny the overwhelming push to bring this out into the world. After the #metoo movement caught fire, I was particularly aware of the need for this exact kind of thing- a place for men and women to come together to heal, to be held in the community, and to practice communication skills in a safe environment. A place to get deeper in touch with the longings of one’s own heart. A place to experience the power of the circle/group. A place where everybody knows your name, and they’re always glad you came…. (lol, sorry I couldn’t help myself there….and if you’re still reading this, then a joke was much needed…. and I’m super sorry if you don’t get the laugh- Cheers!) ANYHOW- super grateful for my tech intelligent and oh so Heart Intelligent partner lover Sam Peret for making this video to say a little more about this work that is oh so dear to my heart. Loving ya’ll….. m